It was May 1st, 2017, and I was walking in the parking lot of the apartment complex I resided in, when I came across this beautiful heart with angel wings where my car had been parked. It made me think of my Grandma. Everything with angel wings made me think of my Grandma. Many in our family believed she had a direct connection to God- if you asked her to pray for you for something going on in your life- it would almost miraculously seem like it would work itself out. I felt like this heart with angel wings was a sign from her that everything was going to be alright. I absolutely had to take a picture and share it with others.
I made this picture my Facebook profile pic for awhile, and there were definitely mixed reviews. Some agreed that it was a special, unnatural beauty; others thought it was a sign as one of our family dogs, Daischa, had just passed away; and others saw it for what it actually was- an oil spill, and just recommended I get my car checked out.
I could easily turn this story into something sappy but this isn't about me. I mean yes, this particular page on my website is titled 'About Me' but the heart was not about me. It was something more. It sparkled and glowed on the cracked and dirty asphalt below it. It was perfect just the way it was. I know what it really was- I took the picture. It was oil on the ground from my car, but it was special.
I never realized that this little heart was going to become so significant in my future, but when I came up with Sparkle Authentically, LLC- it was the symbol I kept coming back to over and over again. It's a perfectly, imperfect heart and sparkling authentically is about embracing you for who you are and appreciating others for exactly who they are- imperfections and all.
Let's be honest- no one is perfect. I'm not even entirely sure who set these standards that we're trying to live up to. So many times we find ourselves focusing on others and trying to show up for others- worrying how we will come across, trying to attract the right people into our lives, the right jobs into our lives. We spend so much time focusing on others, that sometimes we lose sight of what's already great about us- the things that come naturally without even trying. Don't get me wrong- many people would probably choose a classic, perfect heart and surround it was shimmer and shine, but that's not real life. Real life is messy and raw. Many would pass by something like this thinking it's just an oil slick- dirty, grimy, undesirable. This photo is a reminder that even the messy parts of us deserve to be seen with love and appreciation.
We need to start living for ourselves so we're able to show up for others. You'll find that you're happiest when you are your authentic self- when you're doing things that bring you joy, surrounding yourself with people who make you smile and feel safe and at home, and when you are true to yourself without worry of what others think. It may be hard at first because we're taught from an early age that we need to act and should want to come across a certain way so people see us in a certain light. As an adult (I mean I don't feel like one but apparently 37 is one 😉), I've come to appreciate that those people who don't 'like us' the way we are, are not our people. They are not part of our tribe.
We deserve to be loved exactly as we are- in whatever space we are currently in. We need to appreciate that we and others are all just doing the best we can with what we know. Every day, every moment we're presented with opportunities to grow. People will tell you- you can't appreciate the good without the bad, but boy can the bad suck sometimes. We just have to ride that wave until we come out on the other side. I remember reading a quote and I apologize because I can't remember where it came from, but it said- 'you didn't come this far to quit now'.
We need to show up for ourselves and trust that if we haven't found our people yet, that someday we will. Until then- just be yourself because you want someone who likes you for you, not someone who likes a pretend version of you. A final general summary with my little interpretation, which happens to come from a book (Boundaries) that I have listed on my Inspiration page said- if you compromise your boundaries [and I argue if you compromise who you are as a person], you are not winning, you are delaying the inevitable. Eventually you'll get sick of this version that you pretended to be or pretended to accept in hopes that someone would change their opinion but when you realize you're not happy and you try to slowly rein it back in or release more of your true self you'll find that all you did was buy yourself more time. Once that time ran out and they realize you're not who you claimed to be or you're not accepting what you claimed to tolerate and they want no part of that you'll likely feel devastated. You shouldn't have to play games or pretend for people to like you. Those are just not your people. It's about surrounding ourselves with quality people, not worry about quantity of people in our life and although we all know that- it's hard to wait. The right people will show up at just the right time.